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Kuwait... is that in the valley? [Wed, Aug 16, 06 / 9:03pm] [ mood | daydreamy ] [ music | Back to Basics - Christina A ] When I left for work this morning and the ungodly time of 9.30am, my sister was lazing in bed watching Clueless. It reminded me of how much I love that film. Love love love it. If you haven't seen it I highly recommend that you do. Immediately. Go now! My favourite line has to be,  "Anything happens to my daughter, I got a .45 and a shovel. I doubt anybody would miss you" Classic!  That was the last thing I heard as I left the house, it made my day :) Anyway, I keep seeing adverts for X-Factor, which starts on Saturday. For the uninitiated, it's a talent competition much in the vein of Pop Stars/Pop Idol/American Idol et al. masterminded by good ol' Simon Cowell. Last semester at university I managed to become completely obsessed with American Idol after seeing a repeat of the season 4 finale on ITV1 one Sunday morning. After that, I tuned in to the new series a couple of times and my girl-crush on Katharine McPhee took hold. I am sorry, but who can fail to be charmed by this?  ( i could be a lesbian for kat mcphee ) Disaster struck when they stopped showing it on ITV1 and moved it to ITV2, a channel I didn't have in my room in halls. So every Tuesday/Wednesday I'd stay up until 3am to see who performed what, who screwed up and who got voted out. Not to mention what Kat wore. Then at the weekend I'd travel the forty-five minutes home to watch the show on ITV2. It was my secret shame .... except it wasn't so secret, since all twenty-four people on my corridor knew exactly where I was going and why.  I'm really looking forward to X-Factor, mainly because my Saturday evenings feel so empty without my Doctor Who fix (Oh David, I miss you so!) but also because it is inducing my popstar fantasies again. I started singing when I was twelve but I haven't done much since I started uni, and now I'm daydreaming about my X-Factor performances once more. My vision: I'm sat on the edge of the stage, wearing a gorgeous apple green dress that exists only in my head and no shoes, singing 'Heal Over'  by KT Tunstall accompanied only by a single acoustic guitar. Then Simon tells me how amazingly fantastic I am, Sharon cries and Louis is speechless. Hahahaha, in my dreams (literally). I am oh so cool.   « # »

i'm never drinking again...until september [Sun, Aug 13, 06 / 7:29pm] [ mood | groggy ] [ music | hardcore emo ] 'All you can drink' offers are truly the spawn of the devil. As is 'Confidence', a drinking game in which you're encouraged to literally mix your drinks, which we all know is a very bad thing. In my defence it was Mark's birthday and he deserved a good night out, because he never does anything on his birthday and even stayed in on his eighteenth. Plus I didn't want to play Confidence and especially not with a mix of beer and sparkling wine which uberly messes me up, I was forced into it by five big guys - by big I mean bigger than me, and I'm only 5ft tall so it's not hard. I'm still feeling a bit delicate now two days later, but that's mainly lack of sleep and the seven hours I did at work today. Ick. I always find that after a big night out I whinge about how I'll never touch alcohol again but the next time someone suggests such an event (practically every week at university) I'm the first one up for it. Ah well, what can I say - I'm a product of the British binge drinking culture! Other than that, not a lot seems to have happened to me. My usual paranoia gained from working in a clothes shop is slowly coming back; there's something about working around so many skinny fashionable people that completely destroys my self-esteem. Nothing I wear ever feels good enough, everything I eat always seems too much. The worst part is, I'm putting the pressure on myself. No-one mentions my weight, or their own weight, or even weight at all. And people are always complimenting me on my clothes. I think I'm naturally over-competitive - I want to be the best looking and the most fashionable which are both a) never going to happen and b) hopelessly shallow pursuits. I wish I could channel it into working towards getting the highest degree score or saving the most starving children or something admirable like that, but no. I just want to be thin and pretty.  Wow, that was quite an emo post. Next I'll be crying over something by Jimmy Eat World or dying my ridiculously side-swept fringe black. 4 /« # »

turning off in the valley [Tue, Aug 08, 06 / 1:11pm] [ mood | frustrated ] [ music | Lily Allen - Smile ] 00:15 Today Channel Five Going Down in the Valley Series about the San Antonio valley's sex industry. We go on set with Clive McLean, who specialises in making fetish films with novices, and chat to Victoria, his newest star, about how it feels to have sex on camera for the first time. We meet Vanity, transsexual performer of the year. And we find out why a fetish superstar can't go back to 'normal' sex after experiencing the thrills of the deprivation chamber That is what I ended up watching last night with the boys. I'm a liberal person, and I don't have a problem with porn at all so don't get me wrong here. I even find some porn a turn-on. But as I was watching, it struck me how little respect these people must have for themselves. Case in point: the female porn star in her twenties who had sex with a sixty-four year old man up against a tree next to a trainline whilst a passenger train passed them. Classy.  I mentioned this aloud but all Jack said was, "they do have self-respect Alice, more so than most people. They're not ashamed of their bodies".  This set me thinking and I could only conclude that there is a marked difference between self-respect and self-esteem. Clearly these people are proud of themselves and their natural instincts and so they should be, but that's different to respecting them. I don't know. I don't know where I'm going with this anymore. Any thoughts on the topic welcome! I'm having one of those frustrating days when nothing in my wardrobe is good enough. I'm trying to find an outfit to wear for the big night out on Friday but it's not going well. I'd planned to wear my cream silk Zara shirt with new Gap jeans and a pair of huge bronze wedges, but  I tried it on this morning and it just didn't feel right. Then I tried a few all-black ensembles but I can't decide if all-black is too much for August (or too much full-stop). I really wanted to wear those wedge shoes because I'm only 5ft tall and everyone else is at least 5ft 9 so the extra four inches would be fab, but I'm struggling here. I'm hoping once my jeans have been washed and are tightened up again it'll look right but I'm not hopeful. Argh! So yes, any thoughts on porn and self-respect, and all-black outfits in August would be very much appreciated! 3 /« # »

james allen - calm down [Sun, Aug 06, 06 / 3:26pm] [ mood | ditzy ] [ music | Radio 1 ] Okay, so I realise that for Jenson Button winning his first race is a very big event. Congratulations to him! But James Allen actually sounded like he was about to ejaculate when Button crossed that finish line - show some restraint man, please. At least wait until you get home and can tidy yourself up afterwards.   And Pedro, although it was a good day for you too all I can say is this: it should have been Juan Pablo.  I spent a stupid amount of money yesterday, but I'm justifying it to myself by saying that I needed to. I needed some new Long and Leans from Gap because my River Island jeans just got a new rip in them and I should just keep them for really casual occassions now, maybe just for lectures at uni or whatever. I needed that top from French Connection because I had to have something to wear to my new job tomorrow. And I needed the amazing nail buffer thingy from the Dead Sea because my nails were in a terrible state and needed sorting out before the big night out for Mark's birthday on Friday.  Yeah right!  I will post something intelligent-sounding and substantive soon, I promise. But my brain has turned to mush through a lack of anything stimulating it. Maybe after work tomorrow I'll feel smart again?  1 /« # »

I am so crap at blog titles. [Fri, Aug 04, 06 / 5:36pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | None ] I've finally got my lj up together! I'm really glad, I was so desperate for a place to vent but because of my utterly pitiful graphics skills I've been too ashamed to set up a blog on a personal domain. Actually, I'd started having an internal narrative - i.e.  I would blog to myself, in my head. Perhaps I need professional help, I don't know. Or maybe I'm just bored shitless. I've now been doing nothing for approximately...six months. Wow, exactly half a year. See, I used to study Computer Science at uni but decided I hated it, so I applied for a transfer to the Social Science department and I don't start my new course until September. So since February my life has revolved around lazing around watching the Jeremy Kyle show in my pyjamas. It was fab for the first few weeks but the novelty has long since worn off. I imagine that if the summer goes on for too long I'll end up spending my days alone in the dark, slowly rocking back and forth. Contributing to my boredom was last night's trip with Jack, Mark and Ben to an advance showing of Miami Vice. I had high hopes for it, I really did, especially since it starred both Colin Farrel and Jamie Foxx. But I'm sad to say that not only did I not understand a word of what they were saying because it was in some kind of crazy Miami cop speak, but I almost fell asleep on Jack's shoulder. I spent the entire two and a half hours trying to figure out the plot; at the end, I was informed that there wasn't one. I shit you not, the film went as follows: Flashy car Gratuitous violence Gratuitous violence Miami cop speak Gratuitous violence Gratuitous sex Gratuitous violence Gratuitous sex Gratuitous violence Soppy love scene Gratuitous violence x100 Soppy love scene Soppy love scene Miami cop speak And fin. The boys seemed to love it though, especially the gratuitous sex and violence. I didn't even have Farrel to stare at, he had a crazy mullet going on with some strange walrus-esque facial hair. Bleugh. So my conclusion is, definitely a film for the boys, or boyish girls. I should have stayed in and watched Love Island instead. Apparently Paul Danan had a go at Sophie and Lee. Hahaha, classic. Anyway, that's enough blogging for today. I'm off to watch Channel 4 News - Jon Snow, you are a legend. 2 /« # »

Coolio, new blog! [Tue, Aug 01, 06 / 2:52pm] Right, well I'd best start sorting this thing out. I've never had a livejournal before, I usually stick to WordPress but I felt like a change. It'll probably look a mess for a while, I apologise. « # »

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